Battles both Won and Lost
by RockStar1202
Summary: Arthur washed his face before looking at himself in the mirror. The eyeliner made his green and now watery and bloodshot eyes stab. It was the face of a man who has seen battles both won and lost. It was the face of a man who has known tragedy and has never expected anything else from life. It seems this is the only thing in life which is guaranteed. USXUK and FRANADA
1. Head Shrink

Hello all! Welcome back and I hope you enjoyed the first story 'Six Goals to Dreaming' Now we switch from comedy to outright drama. Please enjoy!

* * *

Arthur laid flat on his back staring at the dormitory ceiling. While the futon was quite comfortable, the wavering presence of this Lithuanian chap staring at a computer screen somewhere in the corner of the suite common room somehow put the Brit on edge.

"So you are here because a friend recommended you?"

"Ah yes. Kiku, my old roommate, came back from Thailand and he knew you needed to practice for your counseling psychology exam..." Arthur shifted uncomfortably. The Lithuanian had already been accepted to some prestigious school somewhere although it was still hard to imagine this scared and nervous chap (what was his name? Toris?) convincing anyone to divulge their deepest secrets. Perhaps it helped that he was out of view. It was much easier to talk to the ceiling.

"Did he give reason for recommending you?"

"Well...after he returned he moved out. Said he wanted to live with his new girlfriend, another classmate from the same study abroad program. She's Vietnamese I think. Now she's here finishing up her degree and well I suppose he wants to spend as much time with her as possible, since she's only here for a year. Anyway, since Kiku left, Alfred has moved in."

"Alfred?"

Arthur blushed. Of course the man knew who Alfred F. Jones was, just like the whole school. Alfred was the school's pride and joy: physics genius, sports star, and now the sophomore campus king. Hardly a week went by without something of Alfred's life being published in the campus newspaper. He published papers with prominent professors around the world, showed inventions at various conferences, and somehow managed to lead his football team into the playoffs, first time in a decade. Arthur himself was far from anonymous due to his political dealings and work with the Gay Student Alliance, but Alfred was on the rise to something great and powerful. He had accepted a job at a local laboratory who's experiments were 'hush-hush' to say the least. Alfred couldn't say much about what he was working on, only that some big wig was sponsoring his work; paying him a substantial sum of money and his college tuition, provided of course that he donate much of his weekend and weekly freetime. Alfred called it a sweet deal, but the mystery made Arthur nervous. It would have something of an ominous flavor, except that his partner was a space cadet, goofy, unorganized, erratic, ADHD, and a complete insomniac. The type of fool who could be taken advantage of, but perhaps Arthur was just being paranoid. Hopefully. Although this 'hope' isn't really Arthur's style.

"Of course. Alfred. You know him and you like the whole world know that were dating."

"It is important for me to hear your perspective. How long have you been dating?"

"We started dating at the end of the school year last year. About 5 months ago I suppose."

* * *

Five months. This was longer then any of his other previous partners. He and Alfred had decided not to have sex until the fourth of July. This was mostly because of Arthur. He realized that all of his passed 'boyfriends' were really nothing more than sex friends. He had never had a proper boyfriend, nor gone on proper dates or anything. At first it was most illuminating. Arthur had thought he would be distracted, but after the initial pangs of lust, he began to actually become very interested in Alfred as a person and...well...a good friend. He had tremendous spirit and courage, and a strong moral compass. He was also possessed by an old chivalry. He always walked on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street, offered his jacket when it was chilly, opened car doors, left love notes all over the apartment. He didn't even realize he was doing it half the time.

Alfred, for his part, seemed to grow more and more puppy like around Arthur. Always wanting to impress and always wanting affection. No matter if Arthur was berating him or joking with him, Alfred was always pleased to be near Arthur. He could just imagine his wagging tail...

Then of course, after a not a few close calls, the night of July third rolled around. They had just finished a sunset walk through the park, attempting to distract themselves from the excitement of the inevitable. They had not discussed if their agreement was for 12:01am on July 4th, or for the evening of July 4th. It became clear, the moment they reached the landing outside Arthur's apartment building, that they were not going to technically make that goal. Arthur was fussing with the keys in the door, it was an old building and the keys and locks had been changed so many times it was always a wonder he managed to get in. Suddenly he felt hot breath on his neck. Arthur froze. Alfred's lips wondered to his ears.

"I got checked last month."

It took a moment before Arthur realized what he meant.

"And?"

"I'm clean." Alfred was silent. It was hardly a romantic comment and yet Arthur was touched. Arthur had done the same only a few days after their first...ah...'time' together. It was difficult enough for Arthur to think he had taken Alfred's virginity without his complete consent (despite the fact that Alfred insisted his innocence). But of course, with such reckless behavior, well, it could have been much worse...

"I'm clean too. I guess I lucked out really..." This last part he seethed in frustration. All the reckless sex and time wasted with idiots when the love of his life had waited patiently...was waiting even now.

Alfred pulled him away from fiddling with the door and folded him in his arms facing him. "It doesn't bother me, you know. Glad one of us has experience, otherwise it might have been hilarious." Alfred chuckled. Arthur could feel the vibration of his body.

Arthur blushed. "Or marvelous," he muttered.

Every time he faced Alfred he felt nervous. Arthur's natural tendency was to turn away. Alfred spent a lot of time turning him around or tilting his chin to meet his gaze. He never bothered to ask why, which Arthur appreciated. Now they stared at each other. Alfred looked handsome most of the time but in moments like this, when Alfred stared at him without smiling, Arthur would always fight the urge to yank him into a serious bout of snogging.

The months prior to that day had been arduous for Arthur and this moment took the cake. Alfred seemed to take everything in stride and seemed hardly affected at all. There were times Arthur even wondered if Alfred lusted for him at all. At such times he would test the poor boy...

Once Alfred came home from a morning jog and there was Arthur, naked but for a pair of sports shorts, pointing his backside towards Alfred as he stood with the freezer door open. He pulled himself away from his freezer raid, brandishing his find- an orange Popsicle, which he sucked innocently enough.

The poor bloke never stood a chance.

Arthur felt the situation was reversed now. Alfred's fingers brushed away Arthur's shaggy bangs then traced his cheek, lips, neck...where his fingers touched he may as well have burned scars into Arthur's skin, his whole body ached. Arthur moved Alfred's thumb to his mouth and began to suck gently. Alfred smiled and moved closer. He expected Alfred to back off and say something like 'it's not 12am yet' but instead the opposite occurred. Alfred kissed to the side of his lips.

"You know. It's already midnight 'across the pond,' as you folk say." Alfred murmured into Arthur's cheek.

"Oh sod it." Arthur lunged. He took Alfred's face in his hands and kissed him fiercely, pulling his body taut with his own.. Alfred kissed him back, his hands slipped beneath Arthur's shirt. He then smashed him against the door and a hand lifted Arthur's leg and pressed inwards. Arthur unbuttoned the front of Alfred's shirt, then drove his hand over his shoulder, drinking in the smooth skin of his back. The man shivered, then pulled away in a panic.

"Arthur please...I want..." His voice was deep and husky. Also desperate.

"Hush love. Well get to it." Arthur said breathlessly. Alfred smiled.

"What is it darling?"

"You said that before...the last time." Arthur gulped. At least history wasn't repeating itself. He turned and resumed effort on the lock. Amazing how motivation can speed along simple tasks. Hardly ten seconds passed before they made it to Arthur's apartment. Once again Alfred had Arthur pinned to a door. Well more slammed into it, but Arthur didn't feel the bump on the back of his head till much later...

The next day they went out to eat an early dinner with Francis and Matthew. They finished their entrees and the waiters came out to sing a song and present Alfred with a cake.

"I don't need to blow these out-my wish already came true!" Alfred winked at Arthur who blushed and looked away.

"Ooo la la, Arthur you animal." Matthew gave Francis a meaningful look and he chuckled but went quiet. As Alfred huffed and puffed, Arthur absentmindedly counted the candles...then recounted...for a moment Arthur had to struggle to breathe.

Matthew noticed the concern on Arthur's face.

"Alfred, did you ever tell Arthur your age?"

"Ah no, the dude never asked so I never told."

"Well he's figured it out now."

Arthur groaned.

Francis figured it out and then burst out laughing. "Arthur, I did not give you enough credit. You are not an animal- you are a cradle robber! Will nothing stop you? Do you not fear the law nor deportation?"

Arthur stood and escaped to the bathroom. Alfred stood to follow, "Arthur wait!" but Matthew stopped him. God bless Matthew.

Arthur burst into the Men's water closet and locked the door. For a minute everything stung. His eyes, ears, his skin, the parts of his body that still burned from Alfred's touch the night before. He washed his face before looking at himself in the mirror. He wore a black summer dinner jacket with the sleeves rolled up over an old red Beatles t-shirt. He had on one studded earring in his left ear, his skull ring on his left hand, and nails painted black. His skinny jeans were actually blue jeans this time ('blue dreams' as Alfred called them because his ass looked so good in them) as opposed to their usual black.

The eyeliner made his green and now watery and bloodshot eyes stab. It was the face of a man who has seen battles both won and lost. It was the face of a man who has known tragedy and has never expected anything else from life. It seems this is the only thing in life which is guaranteed.

Arthur looked closer and saw the bite marks up and down his neck and collar bone. Damnit. He didn't see those before otherwise he would have pulled a Francis and worn some kind of scarf.

Arthur sighed and looked at the drain in the sink, fighting back the tears, then back at his reflection. This time he saw another truth. This was also the face of a man who didn't give a damn about what laws say.

_Don't panic_, he muttered to himself. An old mantra. _Don't run away,_ an old promise. He straightened up and opened the door to the restroom. There was Alfred. Arthur tried to doge him but his defense was much better than Arthur's forward dodge. He pushed his way into the tiny wash closet, closed the door and locked it.

For a moment they didn't say anything. Alfred was already a couple inches taller than Arthur, in the span of two months. Guess his age might explain why he was still growing. The boy stood blocking the door, leaning with one arm on the sink and another on the stall door. He seemed quite huge and muscled in this light which made his body quite intimidating but his expression was soft although frustrated. Alfred remained silent.

Arthur gulped and averted his eyes and tried to look relaxed, shoving his hands in his pockets, crossing his legs, and leaning against the back wall.

"So...jolly good. Eighteen... well now...Happy birthday."

Alfred was silent.

"Sorry, I didn't get you anything." Arthur's eyes narrowed.

Alfred moaned seeing the onslaught a mile away.

"Arthur-"

"Cigarettes perhaps? Or maybe a pamphlet on voting? At least I didn't buy you beer then I'd have two charges. Well three if we're counting the first time I raped you." Alfred winced. That hit home.

" 'S alright darling. Don't worry about me. It's not like I hold grudges, or have troubles forgiving anyone." Arthur looked at Alfred meaningfully, the water in Arthur's eyes threatening the dam of his eyelids. Damn eyes.

Then Arthur looked down at his shoes and laughed. "Least of all myself."

He allowed a beat, "Ah but you already know this."

Alfred was fuming. His breath was shaking and his knuckles turned white gripping the sink and the stall door. Arthur continued in a dispassionate voice despite the betrayal of tears.

"So I fell head over heels for a sixteen year old I suppose. You must have been quite the pro too with you giving me a glimpse of your man-abs and then drumming up that poetical moral speech about wanting to be some kind of hero in the world."

Alfred froze. "You...so you do remember when we first met?"

Arthur covered a hand over his mouth. He had feigned disinterest when Alfred first came to the collage, and told him he didn't remember their first meeting. In all their two months of dating he had never bothered to correct him...

Alfred seemed to soften and his face brightened, "You fell in love with me-at first sight?"

Arthur's eyes darted instinctively for an exit. Trapped.

"So it wasn't the fact I grew taller, more muscled, and got glasses and then became ah, famous- you liked me even then? When I was still a nobody?"

Arthur was having trouble breathing. His show of relaxation and dispassion were quickly disintegrating. Rubbish show anyway really.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Arthur shouted this, no longer caring if anyone in the restaurant heard.

"To be honest I thought you figured it out when you asked for a no-sex rule till my birthday."

"But then last night-"

Alfred smiled and ran a hand along the back of his head sheepishly, "Yeah that was all my fault really...Knew the line about it being midnight in England would get you." Alfred winked, "Been working on that one for a while."

It was Arthur's turn to fume. The tears were running freely now. He stood with his fists clenched.

Alfred's face softened, "Do you hate me?"

Arthur smiled sadly. "No. I hate myself."

_Because I could have lost you forever,_ Arthur thought. But he wasn't ready to say that...not yet.

Alfred was quiet, "It's my fault."

Arthur laughed bitterly, "Don't play the martyr game with me lad. You'll lose. The law's on my side anyways."

Alfred moved in and took Arthur's face in his hands. "Laws be damned. Don't push me away. I'll never...I don't want..." Alfred swallowed, closed his eyes and took a breath before looking at Arthur again. "I'm here. Now."

Alfred kissed Arthur. He took Arthur in his arms and a feeling of utter safety crawled over him.

Arthur took a deep shaky breath, "I know. Don't run away."

Alfred nodded and slipped his hand in Arthur's. "That's right. Don't run away, because I'll catch you if you try. I've done it before..."

Arthur smiled at the memory and together they left for the restaurant.


	2. Martyr Game

I don't own Hetalia...yet... *dun dun duunnnn*

* * *

"Arthur?"

"Sorry, what?"

"I said, how has it been since he moved in?"

"Oh well...at first...I guess it was difficult... I only invited him because Kiku was moving out and I needed someone to pay the rent. I didn't think I could find anyone I could tolerate in such a short time so... it was a natural choice... having my significant other move in after only dating for three months...perfectly natural."

"You seem doubtful."

Alfred sighed and rubbed his temples. The summer was difficult.

First it was the noise.

It was strange having someone in the apartment that made so much noise-all the time. If he wasn't eating noisily, then he was humming, singing, playing video games or music, fidgeting, etc. Alfred was never still.

But every time Arthur's annoyance level reached critical, Alfred would do something outrageously sweet. Once he pulled Arthur into the kitchen and taught him how to dance. Some jazz tune played to a waltz.

"Nah Arthur you play the girl."

"I believe it's called 'follow.' You're lead and I'm the follower. Don't be sexist."

"Ok now stop being such a politically correct know-it-all and shut up. You play the girl. Your hands go here...And mine go here."

"No darling. I don't think your hands go there..."

"Darn. I was hoping you wouldn't catch that one...And now we move like this!"

Arthur would follow watching his feet, trying to make sure he was not treading on toes or furniture. This of course would just hinder things further.

"Feel the beat Artie, don't look down!"

"But you haven't taught me anything!"

"Just look into my eyes and trust me."

Then there was the sex.

During the summer, Alfred appeared at all times of the day and never seemed bothered by the fact that Arthur was mired in some sort of important business or had some function or another to attend. He was going to be a senior after all and he had quite a large event happening at the end of the year which needed a lot of work. But Alfred was persistent and Arthur was, despite everything, quite persuadable. Sometimes Alfred would caress affectionately, quietly seducing him. Other times Arthur would be lifted and stolen to the couch, the bed, or even one time-the table.

In fact, Arthur rarely initiated... and for some reason this made him nervous.

"Now that school has started Alfred is involved in all sorts of activities. Often he's out for most of time. He maybe returns to the apartment every other day because he falls asleep in odd places. When he does come home, often he just passes out on the sofa. He knows I'm a light sleeper..."

_He doesn't know that I've only been a light sleeper since sharing my bed, _Arthur thought. It used to be that Arthur could sleep through anything. But sleeping with a partner is difficult to get used to. Alfred snores and moves and...likes to cuddle. Often he'll wrap his arms around Arthur like some kind of stuffed animal. Arthur for his part, felt trapped.

But sleeping without a partner is also difficult...and Arthur still couldn't sleep. He was painfully aware of Alfred's absence. Often he'd lie awake waiting for Alfred to come back. Once he entered the apartment he would count his footfalls, praying they would pass the number sixteen as this meant he would come to bed. If not it meant he was going to the couch...

And then there were the nightmares.

"When Alfred finally does occasion to sleep...well he suffers nightmares.. He pretends not to remember them at all."

Toris was silent, but Arthur could feel the pressing question for more details. The man emanated a compassionate curiosity. Arthur was grateful for the compassionate part at least.

"Alfred starts to toss and turn and..." Arthur gulped, "He closes his fists and grits his teeth. He looks angry and sometimes he shouts things like 'fuck you' or 'shut up.' He sounds angry."

Again Toris was silent. A pregnant silence. Terrible phrase that. What would a pregnant silence birth to?

"And then sometimes he mention my name..." Arthur felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment.

"When did these dreams start?"

"Well sometime after Francis, ah my...friend, and Matthew Alfred's brother, well half brother, got engaged."

Arthur thought back to that time. Alfred must have asked Arthur a dozen times everyday to get married.

"Come on Artie! We'd be the best! And there's all these perks-"

"No."

"Tax breaks...hey you could become a citizen!"

"Like I'd want to be a citizen that badly..."

"Hey man. That stings." Alfred feigned hurt. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"You poor tot. Shall I sing you a song to make it better?"

Thankfully, Alfred had let up on the marriage questions after-oh.

"Actually, perhaps the dreams started after this ah, spat that happened a day or two after the marriage announcement. My friend Kiku stopped by with his girlfriend. There was some kind of incident... Kiku and I were boxing up his various acquisitions in his bedroom and then we heard a shout from Alfred and the sound of a mug hitting the linoleum and breaking. Definitely some kind of row but neither are disclosing any details...nor making any move to apologize."

"Do you think the events are connected with the nightmares?"

Arthur shook his head. "No. I don't think some tiny chick could say anything to make Alfred have bad dreams."

Toris was silent, waiting.

Arthur sighed, "Alright. I think it's me. I think he's having nightmares about me."

Toris was silent again. Damn him.

"I go back and forth, but I can't shake the feeling."

"Who initiates sex more?"

Arthur nearly jumped out of his skin. Toris was better than he thought. Bloody mind reader...

"I ah...it's Alfred."

"In your past relationships who has initiated sex more often. You or your partners?"

"Ah...me."

"And in your past relationships who broke it off more often?"

"I broke up with every one of my partners."

"In the weeks prior to your break ups did you, Arthur, initiate sex more often or less often."

Arthur was silent. What was this chap getting at?

"More often..." Arthur was cruel like that...

"I see. And how are you feeling at being on the other side of this usual pattern?"

Usual pattern? Was he suggesting that Alfred was thinking of...

Arthur sat up and looked at Toris who was staring nonchalantly at his computer screen.

"Do you think...Alfred might be wanting to break up with me?"

"No. That's what you think."

"What? Explain."

Toris was silent.

"I'm not really supposed too...you're suppose..."

"Fine then. Therapy over. I want to hear you're theory."

Toris sighed and closed his laptop.

"I've seen how you are with you're partners...even talked with a few. You push people away before you get close to them...distracting them with a show of intimacy and then just cutting them loose. Now that you've finally let someone in...well its only natural that you think Alfred might be doing the same with you. Preparing to cut loose. You believe that Alfred doesn't know how to leave you, hence Alfred's nightmares."

Arthur stared at Toris.

"Have you and Alfred actually discussed the nightmares?"

"He doesn't want to..."

"Then you don't need therapy you need a lesson in communication. Go talk to him. Get everything out in the open. Also tell him you love him and also your fear he that he might leave you...but not unless you want to hear the truth."

Arthur gaped at Toris. He had a strong urge to throw a pillow at him. Toris met his eyes and shrugged.

"Otherwise. Keep beating yourself up over imagined plights. You're good at the martyr game."


	3. A Warning

Welcome back! No Hetalia rights for me...les sigh.

* * *

_Break his heart, or I will break him._

The Russian

As if bad dreams weren't enough, Alfred was also haunted during the daytime. The words swirled around Alfred's head like some gnat cloud.

Why is the word gnat spelled with a 'g'?

Stupid.

Stupid Russian.

Who does he think he is?

Alfred set down the calculator and pencil, removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. The calculations in his lab book were beginning to blur. He glanced at the digital clock at the end of the lab. 23:00.

Whose idea was it to put the clock on military time? Why not just put a damn hourglass or sundial. Both were preferable to military time...

His brain ached. He wanted to punch something.

Better yet punch that stupid Russian for putting that stupid note in his locker. And then punch Lien for her stupid reminder. Who cares if she's a girl...He thought back to 'the incident' as Arthur describes.

* * *

Lien had been quiet and polite, smiling pretty like...then Kiku and Arthur disappeared. Alfred turned to fish some mugs from the cabinet. "Want some tea or coffee or something? I'll give you extra points if you pick coffee. Arthur and I have a running tally of what is better. Although if you swing with all my Asian stereotypes then I suppose you'll pick tea. Am I right?"

Alfred turned around and saw that Lien was no longer smiling pretty. She was staring hard.

"Uh...something wrong? I didn't mean anything by that tea comment, btw..."

"I've been wanting to meet you, Mr. Jones."

"Ah, Alfred actually...wait how do you know my last-"

"I have a message for you, Mr. Jones."

Alfred shifted uncomfortably and adjusted his glasses, a habit he picked up from Matthew.

"Really? Hope it's from someone cool."

"Somewhere."

Lien smiled...still not so pretty as when Kiku was around. More creepy like. Alfred supressed the urge to call him back here to make this weird interaction just...stop. Something told him that it would only postpone this "message."

"...Sorry what?"

"It is a message from somewhere that is cool."

Alfred froze.

"Mr. Jones. The Russian sends his regards."

Alfred stepped backward.

"What...what did you say?"

"He says that you should carry on and have no fear."

It took a moment before Alfred remembered how to speak.

"How do you know-"

"You will be contacted once more, before he expects results."

Alfred gulped. He felt like he was in one of those gangster movies. What next? Was he going to wake up with a horses head in his bed? Usually in those movies the protagonist had something going for him. He was a sophomore in college holding a 25cent mug from a thrift store.

"And what are these...results."

"A warning: Either you break Arthur...or the Russian will. I think only one of these 'results' will leave him alive."

Alfred grit his teeth.

"The decision is yours, Mr. Jones."

The awkward silence.

"That's it?"

Lien stared at him.

"That's what you got?"

Alfred was pissed now.

"'The decision is yours, Mr. Jones.'" Alfred mocked bitterly.

Lien's eyes flashed a warning. Alfred paid no heed.

"Tell your boss that...he doesn't know who he's messing with. I'm a fucking genius and one of these days...I'm going to one up him and it's going to be-

Suddenly the world turned upside down. The mug hit the floor and broke. Lien had Alfred in a headlock. Alfred felt the bite of sharp cold steel at his neck. Dang this chick was fast.

"You have quite an ego Mr. Jones. Do not pretend you are a hero Alfred. That will only get you, or others, killed."

Without a word Lien let him go right as Kiku and Arthur showed up. None of them showed any signs that they had seen anything. Alfred doubted either would believe him if he told the truth. Lien was too good of an actor, and Alfred too much of a storyteller. Nope. Best to be quiet.

* * *

He glanced around the empty lab. The Russian had yet to send his second warning. So Arthur was safe...for now.

Whose idea was it to work part time and do college?

That's right. _Yup, real genius pal._ Alfred thought bitterly. Even if that's what all the IQ tests proclaimed, even if that's what all his professors bragged, Arthur was really the only one to see Alfred for who he really was. An athletic insomniac ADHD idiot goof-ball who thinks he can save the world. But this job could solve all his problems...Well his only problem really.

Besides, Alfred was having fun tinkering with all sorts of projects. Recently, Alfred had been working on preliminary research on self-sustaining energy sources. The theory was paradoxical. How could a source sustain itself? Alfred believed the solution lay in magnetism. The eternal dance of opposing polarities. All in all, finally affecting change. Making headway in energy research that could perhaps save lives, perhaps even the planet. His models and research paved the way for internships and grants. His fellow classmates started calling him 'Ironman' and asking about his 'arc reactor.' Pretty cool, but then again Alfred had always been good with popularity. Blame it on the outrageous charisma. Oh and the winning smile and outrageous man-abs.

Then his professor introduced him and another protege student, some huge blonde kid named Ludwig, to some big name scientist from some famous laboratory downtown. They mostly explored theoretical astrophysics, but they dabbled in not a few energy exploits. The lab had lots of shiny new toys and the technicians and scientists (hashtag freaks and geeks) were a fun bunch of weirdos. They offered insane working hours, a sweet paycheck, and other such perks.

Also, Alfred bought a sweet motorcycle for the daily commute downtown. She was a bit of a fixer-uper, but she was British. Can't expect her to be up-beat all the time...or even most of the time. He knew Arthur hated her because he was jealous. What a diva...

For a while, working at the lab was like being a kid in candyland. He loved the work, the research, the exploration. Anyone would teach him anything. He was gaining awesome experience and even more, contributing. He had already made quite a few of his own inventions. One device, the size of a quarter, unleashed a sort of electromagnetic pulse that played marry-hell with any kind of electrical device. He tested that one on Arthur.

* * *

"What the bloody hell is wrong with this mobile? I've never seen the screen do that...wait. Alfred where are you?"

"Hmm?" Alfred had his mouth full of banana and looked back from his perch at the table in the kitchen into the living room where Arthur was standing with his cell.

"I can't make any calls and my screen is blurry. If this is permanent then-Oh wait. It's back. Nevermind love."

"Wait you falsely accuse me and all I get is a 'nevermind love."

"Well I thought about making it up to you later, but not if your going to keep that attitude up."

"Apology suspended till bedroom times."

* * *

Alfred thanked his lucky stars for inventing that one. Awesome sauce.

He also developed a pen that could turn into a camera helicopter, although the camera only pointed straight down. Another device was an app which could scan and show the number most recently dialed from a cell phone from up to 20 feet.

But then, as the research became less preliminary/exploratory and more substantial and delicate, his supervisor started to demand more and more time. Of course for someone like Alfred, it wasn't the sleep he was missing, it was his life back at that little apartment with Arthur.

_Break his heart, or I will break him._

Alfred dug his fists into his eyes, growled, then tossed his pen across the room.

"Shut up!" he yelled at no one in particular.

The summer had floated by. Way too fast. Yeah, so maybe he didn't tell Arthur he was technically a minor but really; it was nice to know he cared, but that guy could be such a drama queen. The way he beats himself up over such little things. Honestly. Not the end of the world.

And yet, the guy was already beating Alfred in the hero arena, hands down. Arthur never ceased. He was constantly haranguing local and state officials about the rights of the LGBTQs, circling petitions, writing articles, and of course his pride and joy, organizing this event at the capital. A three day shindig ending with Arthur pointing fingers at various companies and their CEOs and telling the dark stories of various anonymous employees. Businesses and politicians have taken note. There were whisperings that the press of the event could shift stocks, even perhaps significantly. Might even drive politicians to re-evaluate the marriage laws of the state.

Then there were the threat letters. They continued, and Arthur continued to ignore them.

Who could save Arthur?

The Russian had given Alfred only one possibility, but as a genius, Alfred had to explore many possible solutions. There's always a way out...

Was that a Dr. Who quote? Damnit. Arthur was rubbing off on him.

The Russian had technically given no time limit, which simultaneously both freaked Alfred out and gave him ludicrous hope. Probably a safe bet that the Russian wanted it done before Arthur's event...

Alfred gave up on the lab work and bolted out to the hallway, grabbed his bag, helmet, and leather bomber jacket, and made for the door, swiping his ID key card on the way out.

The ride home was always the worst. Riding through traffic in the dark, even through downtown, was not nearly as good a distraction from the Russian's words as lab work. Everyday he prayed Arthur would be safe and sound by the time he got back...well that is if Alfred didn't jut fall asleep working or studying.

He paused in front of the door with the key in the lock and held his breath as he always did. Some vestige of an old superstition perhaps. He and Mattie would hold their breaths when the car drove past cemeteries, under bridges, or went through tunnels. He held his breath till he would lay eyes on Arthur's shoes on the mat, coat on the rack, and book bag in the big chair by the window. Then Alfred would breathe freely.

Alfred glanced at Arthur's calendar on the wall and checked the days events. Besides the usual Thursday classes and meetings there was something extra. The last meeting of the day...

See Toris- 5pm.

Toris? Who is Toris? Alfred glanced at the blessed digital clock on the wall set for normal time: 11:30pm. Arthur must have been home for hours already. Alfred walked into the kitchen. Judging from the dishes in the sink Arthur had already eaten. Alfred walked to the fridge and pulled out a slice of cold pizza and devoured it.

Where was Arthur?

Alfred kicked off his shoes and dumped his bag and jacket somewhere in the living room. He could hear the sounds of someone in the shower. Arthur was still up. Must mean something was troubling him. He only stayed up passed 9 if he was preoccupied. Poor old man. Still the prospect of a naked and unguarded Arthur gave Alfred an idea...


	4. Genius Idea

Random fact: a "genius" is originally a roman statue of a penis and they were very common. Every good Roman had one on the dining table representing and honoring the fertility of the man of the fam. Today 'genius' refers, more or less, to the 'fertility of mind.' Still, gives me great pleasure to think of a genius as a big dick. No offense, if you're a genius... Now enter the world of ADHD genius Alfred. *Smut and foul language warning!*

* * *

Alfred snagged a mint from his bag, then proceeded to dumped the contents of his pockets on the couch: two candybar wrappers, wallet, keys, pocket lazer pointer, half-used dull pencil, and a small multi-tool. He then pulled off his watch, glasses, socks, and shirt, before tiptoeing to the door of the 'loo,' as Arthur calls it.

Or was it 'Lou'? 'Louis'? Poor guy, or girl, or whoever 'loo' was.

Alfred slid the door open. Judging by the level of steam and the still clear mirror, Arthur had only just jumped in.

Perfect timing. Alfred took a minute to admire the blurry outline of a naked Arthur; blurry due to Alfred's near-sighted state and for the foggy glass of the shower door.

"Alfred? Is that you?"

Alfred crossed the distance of the bathroom in a step and a half and opened the shower door and stepped in, still wearing his blue jeans. Arthur's eyes were wide with surprise. Alfred couldn't tell just yet if it was the good surprise face, or 'I'm-going-to-kick-you-out-of-here-you-bloomin-idiot' surprise face. Matthew was the emotional interpreter of the family. Alfred mostly just looked like an idiot trying to guess.

Besides the expression, the man was gorgeously wet with his hair full of soap suds. A trail of white bubbly soap dripped down his shoulders and back. Glorious.

Due to the summer growth spurt, Alfred was now taller than Arthur by two inches, a measurement he calculated as often as possible. He looked down into Arthur's gorgeous green eyes now. He was hoping for a sort of 'You're-sexy-and-I-know-it-face,' but it probably just looked like he was squinting to make out details without his glasses. Which he wasn't. Well, not entirely.

"Darling, shower sex is a bad idea. Trust me. Been there love."

"Hmm. Interesting."

"What?" Arthur's eyebrows knitted together, the way they did when he was trying to decide who was in the wrong.

Is it who or whom? Whatever. Alfred wasn't the English police. He left that to Arthur.

An image of Arthur dressed in police get-up dashed in front of his eyes.

Damnit. _Focus Alfred_.

The tiled white walls of the shower shifted back into view, with a naked Arthur front and center.

"You've never mentioned your past exploits when we're about to make love. This is a first."

Alfred really didn't care. Mostly he said this to put the man off guard. Alfred's hands wandered to Arthur's waist as he slowly inched closer.

"Quite right. Sorry about that...I...usually try to make a point of not mentioning-"

"What's up? I wonder if Toris somehow put past boy-toys on the brain?"

"How did you know about my ah...meeting, with Toris?"

Alfred was getting tired of this small talk. His nearsighted eyes drank in the pale creamy skin of Arthur's chest, the dash of red across his face, sparkling eyes, fuzzy eyebrows, hair wet, tossed and darkened from the water. Here he was, standing in his now wet jeans with a hard-on in front of a gorgeous sexy naked Arthur and someone's mouth just won't stop...maybe he should stop it. One hand crawled up Arthur's back, and the other began playing with the suds in Arthur's hair.

"It was on your calendar dummy."

"Oh. Right. I was thinking about a conversation that we had..."

Alfred tilted Arthur's head under the shower head and began to rinse his hair. Arthur was blushing. Damn his blush. It made Alfred hard every time, so that was often. As if he wasn't horny enough already. Especially now, since school started and Alfred spent so much time away from Arthur...

Arthur's eyes kept darting over Alfred's face. Nervous much? _Seriously dude get it together. You're the expert here..._

"Oh good, it was the conversation that triggered the memories. I was worried you thought he was cute."

Arthur got defensive as predicted. Alfred began exploring Arthur's jaw line.

"Cuter than this tanned athlete in my shower?"

"Now we're talking."

"Right. It only counts as 'talking' if you're the topic?"

"Yup. Especially if it's about my extreme hotness. Except, I don't wanna talk..." Alfred's hand began wandering lower...

"Ok. I think I'm clean now Alfred- really you can let me-" Arthur sounded a little panicked.

"You're dirty."

"Wha-what?"

"You are so fucking dirty." Alfred spoke the words slowly.

Cue the blush. Arthur froze, not sure what to do with the comment. Alfred continued to hold Arthur close and run his hand through his hair in the water, head still tilted. Alfred's lips wandered to Arthur's ears.

"You forgot to wash your ears."

Alfred let his hands drop to Arthur's backside and pulled him against his body.

Arthur tried to resist by pressing his hands to his chest, but Alfred continued undaunted.

"Don't worry... I'll help."

He whispered into his ear, before licking it... then gently sucking his earlobe.

Alfred felt Arthur's arms begin weaken. It was working. Must be gentle for a while longer...

"Mama always said to wash behind the ears as well..." Alfred tilted Arthur's head to the side and let his tongue explore behind his ear. Arthur's arms were now total putty.

Alfred pulled away just long enough to locate Arthur's lips before smashing into them. He heard Arthur inhale at the sudden change of contact. Lips met briefly before their tongues tangled. Alfred pushed his body against Arthur's, till Arthur was completely under the torrent and warm droplets doused their connection.

Time to up the ante. Cut off all escape.

Alfred dipped his head into Arthur's neck and began to kiss wildly, tasting the water on his lover's skin, all the while he pulled Arthur's hips into his own. Arthur's hands curled around Alfred's neck for balance.

"How long has it been since you cleaned your ass?" Alfred muttered. He grabbed the conditioner bottle and lathered his hands. Alfred's fingertips began creeping down Arthur's backside, Arthur tensed at what was coming. Alfred's fingers reached their destination and jammed two into the entrance. Arthur's hips instinctively pulled away from the intruder. Arthur gasped, which only encouraged Alfred to press in deeper. It wasn't till finger three, that Arthur began to moan.

"Alfred-"

"Hmm..."

"Alfred-your jeans...they-hah-" Arthur winced. Alfred guessed. The jeans were quickly becoming uncomfortable for both parties.

"Care to help?"

Arthur glared at him. A sort of 'You-asked-for-it' face. Alfred gulped instinctively. He hoped he could make it through this one. The odds were about 50/50 with Arthur's ah...technique.

Arthur pushed Alfred against the wall. He brushed his lips against Alfred's, while his fingertips teased the edge, then the entrance of Alfred's jeans.

Alfred felt the heat of his own blush splash across his face.

Arthur's lips trailed down his chest and further south. Expert fingers brought some relief as Arthur released Alfred's manhood from his jeans. Perhaps 'release' was not the right word, because the torment was only just beginning.


	5. More Often

Sexy times! Also back to the neurotic world of Arthur...Enjoy!

* * *

Arthur began by licking the droplets of water that landed upon Alfred's manhood. He felt the boy shiver, whether from pleasure or his sudden removal from the hot shower spray, Arthur wasn't quite sure yet. He gripped Alfred's cock and ran his lips along the shaft, and then resting them on the tip. He gave the tip a test lick. The shiver increased.

_Must be pleasure then_, Arthur mused. He looked up. Alfred was tense, and biting his lip.

Arthur tasted the tip, allowing his tongue to swirl around the long thick shaft, before sucking deeply. God bless the well-endowed. His hand ventured down into Alfred's jeans, and between Alfred's legs.

'Fuck..." Alfred moaned.

_In your past relationships who has initiated sex more often?_

_more often._

_more often._

_more often._

Yes. Alfred may initiate sex more often, but by George, Arthur made sure to keep his partner damn well satisfied. Perhaps that is the actual reason Alfred initiates so much more...and not because he secretly wanted to end things.

Arthur had been there.

Despite the pain of his arousal, and the heat of his want, the throb of unwanted thoughts jabbed his mind.

He remembered.

For all attempted relationships, Arthur always entered a tenuous time period just before the end. A time before a good reason to break up had readily arisen, yet after the desire to break up has already germinated. It was a time of guilt. This guilt would cause him to initiate sex more. It was one way to keep up his own denial, and to make his partner clueless. Clueless about his actual feelings.

What were Alfred's actual feelings? He said them often enough. But what about the dreams? The dreams which involved Arthur? Somehow in his heart, Arthur knew he was causing him pain.

But how?

Arthur began to bob his head, pulling.

"No. Stop. Arthur." He gasped then swallowed. "Arthur no. Please!" Alfred begged with a whisper. Arthur looked up. One hand was tangled into Alfred's wet hair, the other was balled into a fist which was occasionally met Alfred's teeth.

Their eyes met, and Arthur felt heat swirl round his heart. Time stopped.

"You're so beautiful." Arthur murmured.

Then Alfred shivered once more and a look of desperation overcame him.

"I'm so in pain dude. But I'm not now... Not when I've waited so many days to cum inside you."

Arthur blushed at such a crude comment. Alfred grabbed Arthur by the wrists and haphazardly lifted him to his feet. Then Alfred's hand was there, pumping Arthur without mercy.

It was Arthur's turn to plead.

"No. Alfred please..."

"Beg. Beg more." Alfred growled.

"Please. Please now."

Arthur was now upright and rock hard. He knew he was red with the heat of the shower, the blush of the sex, and the flush of desire.

That's right. Arthur the tomato was about to get fucked by his very own prince charming. In the words of Alfred- bring it on.

Alfred spun Arthur so he faced the wall. Arthur braced his arms against the tiles for support. Alfred took a moment to rub against Arthur's ass and to test the entrance. For some, this would be a silent boast of size. Arthur knew however, that for Alfred, it was his moment to savor the imminent victory.

Alfred thrust into Arthur with such a force his head almost slammed into the wall. He had to brace against it with all of his strength. Then he thrust again, and again, and again, hitting the spot every time, their grunts and moans intermingling.

Arthur could feel the orgasm forming, and it would not be gentle.

Alfred's hand resumed it's pumping.

And Arthur was lost. He cried out. Alfred squeezed, then thrusted deep.

Arthur came so hard, he saw white.

The world spun.

Alfred released inside him.

For a moment they both stood breathing. Arthur turned around savoring the cool tiles against his back, and the feel of the hot semen trickling down his legs...

"That was..." Arthur searched for words. He flipped through a thesaurus in his head: great, amazing, wonderful. Too mundane. cataclysmic? Earth-moving? Much closer.

"Out of this world." Alfred finished.

Not bad. Arthur thought.

"I suppose I am an alien."

Alfred laughed, "I can fix that."

"Oh yes?"

"Marry me."

"Sorry dear. I don't want to become a citizen that badly."

"So the sex was good, just not good enough that you would join the country for it."

"Are you disheartened?"

"Nope. I take that as a challenge."

Alfred kissed him gently on the lips, before folding him in his arms. Arthur buried his head in Alfred's neck.

"This was lovely darling."

"You said shower sex was a bad idea...We are totally doing this more often. "

_more often._

_more often._

_Shut it! _

How long did they stand like that? The small loo was swirling with steam and heat.

Eventually they washed themselves, shut off the water, and stepped out of the shower. Well, Alfred did anyway. Arthur followed, but suddenly his vision cartwheeled to the left and he wobbled. Alfred caught him by the waist.

"Whoa there Artie!"

"Steady on..." Arthur told his legs. A hand went to his head. Was it his own or Alfred's?

"Sorry, guess I'm just a little over heated." Arthur felt a kiss on his forehead.

"No worries babe. Leave the rest to me."

Arthur vaguely remembered being toweled dry and then led to his fluffy bed. He thought he heard Alfred mutter something in his ear. Was it an 'I love you?' He hoped so.

He dearly hoped so...

_I love you too._ He thought to the rising darkness.


	6. Rising Darkness

More ADHD Alfred pov! enjoy.

* * *

Alfred woke up to darkness.

A cold, damp, darkness.

How can darkness be damp? Damp was an adjective that belonged to water, atmosphere, humidity. Not a state of light? Can lights have states? Would this be an opportunity to use the word "opacity"?

All irrelevant. _Focus Alfred_. He could tell the temperature because he was shirtless and sitting in a metal chair. It was damp because his skin was covered in misty cold water droplets. Condensation? Sweat?The metal ribs at his back had that kind of icy bite that just wouldn't disappear with normal body temperature. He moved his legs and could feel the fabric of his jeans. A draft drove a chill from his naked ankles up his legs. His bare feet touched a floor that felt like iron. More like an iron grate. Creepy. Who puts a large iron grate in the floor. A drain? A drain for what?

He tried to move, and failed. He was stuck...no tied. His hands were wrapped with something soft, like strips of fabric, and tied behind him.

Alfred attempted to squash the awful hypotheses for what a 'giant drain beneath a trapped victim' might mean for his own immediate future, with the helpful distraction of further observation. Thank goodness he was always easy to distract. Too bad about the severe 'opacity'. Boo-yah. He did get to use the word...

A light turned on above him, the kind of giant florescent light that gives off a white bluish haze and hums. The first thing he noticed after the light was the drain on the floor. It was enormous, covering the whole floor, and splattered with stains.

He struggled, but he was tied well. He began to breathe fast.

The hypotheses jumped at his brain and he could not quite stem their flow.

Hah. Brain-stem.

Alfred laughed. He laughed long and hard. He laughed, because he had never felt so helpless or frightened.

"Get it together Jones." He said aloud, rather maniacally. Then a thought struck. "It's gotta be a dream."

He laughed nervously. "Hear that!?" Alfred shouted to no one in particular. "I've figured it out. Yup. I'm dreaming. Just dreaming. So... you can go away now!"

Another light appeared many yards in front of Alfred. The lamp floated above another wide iron grate in the floor, and another metal chair. Empty. Darkness spanned the gap.

A premonition. Alfred knew who would fill that chair. He'd seen it before and yet, why did it feel so real _this_ time? He knew he didn't want to see.

Alfred panicked. He looked wildly around the room and struggled against the bonds. Then, seeing no solution, he shut his eyes. _Wake up. I'm so totally asleep in bed next to Arthur. Come on Alfred...wake up._

Sounds filled the air. Footsteps. A screech of metals scraping. A door opening? More footsteps. All of Alfred's senses screamed for him to open his eyes and he lost the will to resist them. He opened his eyes.

Arthur was flung into the light. He landed roughly, hands barely strong enough to keep his head from hitting the floor. He was wearing a white shirt and blue skinny jeans that looked way baggier then usual...

The shirt was stained as well...stained red.

The man was thin and...and weak. No. He was sick. He was coughing uncontrollably, but Alfred couldn't hear him. Strange, since he heard the door...

Every time Arthur would try to push himself up he'd fall back down. Once he even curled up. Finally he got to his knees. His face caught the light. He was blinking furiously. Even from this distance Alfred could see the bloodshot eyes and large dark circles beneath them. How long has it been since he slept?

Arthur was looking straight at Alfred.

"Arthur, get out! Leave!" Alfred shouted. His whole body was tensed ready to spring but the bonds held strong against his struggles.

Two figures emerged, their faces were dark as they lurked outside the radius of the other light. Arthur couldn't tell where they were but he sensed their presence and shrank back. Was he blind? He turned his ears towards the figures and his eyes...

"Get the HELL away from him!" Alfred roared. He finally managed to rock his chair forward. His head smashed against a clear wall, and he lost balance and fell to the side, still tied to the chair. Glass? Soundproof room? Alfred's head pounded. He felt something warm trickle down his face. But the sound of the door? The footsteps.

The two figures picked up a weak struggling Arthur and strapped him into the metal chair. They left. They left and then a row of red lights flickered above on the ceiling...

Then the ceiling started to slowly close down, constricting the space. Arthur heard the sound and looked up in horror. But Alfred didn't hear the sound. There was no sound.

"Do you want to break him," A soft voice came from behind.

Alfred tried to look, but couldn't move from his position laying on the iron grated ground tied to a chair.

_Of course. The door and the footsteps were in my...my cell._ Alfred thought. Hands lifted Alfred back to his original and upright position.

Someone leaned close and whispered in a light, almost congenial voice, "Do you want to break him, or shall I?"

Alfred looked at Arthur. The ceiling was just now touching the top of his head. He shrank down. He was shouting... he was shouting for Alfred.

"Shall I?"

Alfred gulped and started the processes of hyperventilating. Think. Alfred. Think fast.

The row of red lights glowed green for an instant. The movement stopped. Arthur looked up.

Then the ceiling collapsed and Arthur disappeared from view.

"No!" Alfred shouted. He stretched out a suddenly free hand as if to reach Arthur.

He suddenly realized he was standing. He looked down and his hand was depressing a large button, glowing green. He removed his hand and the button turned red, and it was the only light in the room.

His hands. His skin. The room.

All red.

Alfred closed his eyes...the sound of coughing echoed in his ears.


End file.
